Freedom

My sister Jane is coming to Atlanta to visit us over the holiday weekend. Originally, she had planned to bring my nephew and niece, Steven and Brooke. Unfortunately she was unable to locate Joyce, their mother, my older sister. Joyce moves herself and the kids around from house to house and changes cell phone numbers as often as you would change your clothes. So when Jane was unable to locate Joyce she decided to come to Georgia without them. I must admit when I found out the kids weren't coming, my initial thought was that it probably worked out for the best. As much as I love having the kids over to my house we usually end up going back into work the next week more exhausted than when we left. It wasn't until after I had resolved myself to the idea that everything had worked out that Jane discovered she had a voicemail from Steven. As I listened to the message I realized how complacent my thoughts had become. I could barely hear my nephew as he whispered into the receiver on the other end. He obviously didn't want to be heard:

"…Jane, call me back. I want to leave with you. Please come get me. Call me back as soon as you get this. Please come get me. Please don't leave me here. Please. Please…."

What was I thinking earlier? My words came back to me…perhaps it all worked out for the best... How was sitting in a basement all weekend while your parents are too messed up to realize one can of corn is all you've had to eat for the last three days, everything working out for Steven and Brooke's best interest? Perhaps I should've just said what I really meant to begin with, which was I was glad it all worked out for me, and although it didn't for Steven and Brooke I would pretend that nothing was wrong and shove their reality so far out of my mind I wouldn't feel guilty for enjoying myself. I listened to the message over and over again. As difficult as it was, I wanted to make sure that I didn't forget the desperation in his voice. I am still ashamed that I allowed myself the luxury of minimizing their circumstance. I know there is nothing I can do at this point, and while it would be a lot easier to just shrug off the guilt and tell myself they are ok, they are not.

This weekend our nation is celebrating freedom. Ironically, my nephew and niece will most likely be sitting in their basement apartment, staring out the window in an attempt to see the fireworks they can only hear in the distance. They will probably long for the toys that they were once given but have long since been pawned for drug money. They will probably see other kids with their parents laughing and having a good time and silently wonder why that can't that be them. If they take the question a step further they may even wonder what they did wrong to deserve such a sad life. I am afraid that they will wait so long for their childhood to start that they will become young adults before realizing it never will. I fear such a realization may prompt them to stop trying, to give in to the overbearing idea that nothing good is worth reaching for; that they would begin to believe they are not free to choose their dreams over their nightmares.

This Independence Day, please take the time to remember the children who are either in foster care or have an unstable life at home. As we celebrate our freedom, please don't forget that they long for theirs.

The following song is one that reminds me of how I feel about Steven and Brooke. Click on the link below and let me know what you think.

"Save You"